Who IS walkING through your door?

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Everyone's doing neuroaffirming training now. Dim the lights ... tick, offer a fidget, tick.  That's potentially useful, but a potentially tokenistic.

 

By the time a neurodivergent client sits down across from you, they've had a lifetime of being told they're too much or not enough, a thick folder of evidence of how they get people wrong and people get them wrong. Doesn't matter if they're 7 or 57. Your first job is simple, don't add to the folder.  

 

The goal isn't to help them perform a neurotypical life. It's to help them build their own life, comfortable in their own existence. Not "here are the skills you're missing",  but what do you actually want your life to look like, what's balanced for you, and what'll support you to achieve that? That's self-determination. It's also the whole difference between neuroaffirming practice and a compliance model with better lighting.

 

And go easy on recognising the mask. It's not a lie to rip off, it's a survival strategy that's kept them safe. Sometimes your work is helping them manage it. Sometimes it's seeing the real person when all has finally collapsed, and not calling that deterioration.

 

What it looks like in the room:

 

• "I don't know" isn't a dead end it's processing. Don't reword the question.  Just allow silence and wait. Rewording, or asking your next question has just interrupted their thinking.

• Spend the first session on their favourite thing. That's not the warm-up. It's the fastest road to trust you'll ever find.

• Rapport before task, every time. For someone carrying that folder, the relationship is the intervention.  Autistic people are looking for understanding and safety.

 

I'm neurodivergent. I'm not translating my people for you out of a textbook.  As a neurotypical therapist you will never know the deeper experience autistic and adhd people have.  I'm telling you what it's like to be the one sitting in that chair.  That's what you will learn in supervision with me, and how to be the best neuroaffirming therapist you can be.